Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
