He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
