I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
