my phone needs a breathalizer
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize