More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
organizing the empties. That sober.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
