I want to stick my p in your. b.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
