That's intense
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
