I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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