We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
