i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Randomize
