dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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