Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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