The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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