I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
