I wish I could punch you in the face.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
