im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
