whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize