i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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