My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
