Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I did not marry a roomba.
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