I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
