What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
