she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
