When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
