it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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