Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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