end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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