I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Randomize
