I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
