How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize