This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
