im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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