is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
