she woke up with a sticky ear
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize