just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I need moral support for this bender
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
All the doctor said was why
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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