Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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