garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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