Why are handjobs necessary in class?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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