my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize