Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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