Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
