I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
