my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
