That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
