yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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