Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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