Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
