are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
