I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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