therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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