i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
