The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
a search helicopter?!
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
