I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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