Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
