maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
