butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
