Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Randomize
