I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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