ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize