Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
