Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
