with your own penis?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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