I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
