Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
