Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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