My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
