She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
