Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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