My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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