Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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