quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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