I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
