there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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